PZC Comes Clean

No, I don't blog anymore.

2009-11-05T16:59:00.002-06:00

When I hear about the Yankees beating the Phillies in the world series, it makes me feel like a small, thriving, independent state has been invaded by a fascist regime to be raped and pillaged.

Oh. And my mind was blown by the fact that my "Mag Safe Power Adaptor" for my "MacBook Pro" does not have an up or down side. It is symmetrical along its horizontal axis.

Philly Phanatic JACK-O-LANTERN!

2009-10-23T22:51:00.002-05:00

Again: Dear Idiot Drivers Of East Nashville,

2009-10-19T19:18:00.003-05:00

Please remove yourselves from the gene pool in whatever way you feel most fitting. Here are some suggestions:

1. Ride a bicycle in the bicycle lane, and have someone turn left, from oncoming traffic, straight into you.

2. Ride a bicycle to a four-way stop, wait your turn, and have another car ignore all rules of road etiquette and try to run you over while you're in the middle of the intersection.

3. Guns.

4. Knives.

5. Etc.

Keep in mind these are just suggestions for helping out the human race, and are probably more merciful than the head on collisions you are doomed to die from.

(Disclaimer: I don't actually want anyone to die.)

Let me tell you about my day.

2009-10-17T11:15:00.002-05:00

I'm typing on one of my computers, and watching my second episode of TV on my other computer. So far I have eaten pumpkin pie, and I'm drinking coffee. I have written one email that was productive. I'm going drinking this afternoon.

Happy fall break everyone.

Grad school makes blogging impossible.

2009-10-15T12:34:00.000-05:00

Except for right now.

Does anybody know of any good 5 minute radio plays?

2009-10-06T09:19:00.001-05:00

For a project.

Also, if you're into voice acting, let me know.

The commuter anthem (Censored, and still probably rated R)

2009-10-01T13:37:00.002-05:00

Bad Habit
by The Offspring

Hey man you know I'm really okay
The gun in my hand will tell you the same
But when I'm in my car
Don't give me no crap
Cause the slightest thing and I just might snap

When I go driving I stay in my lane
But getting cut off makes me insane
I open the glove box
Reach inside
I gonna wreck this _________'s ride

Chorus
I guess I got a bad habit
Of blowin' away
Yeah I got a bad habit
And it ain't goin' away
Yeah

Well they say the road's a dangerous place
If you flip me off I'm the danger you'll face
You drive on my ___
Your foot's on the gas
And your next breath is your last

Drivers are rude
Such attitudes
But when I show my piece
Complaints cease
Something's odd
I feel like I'm God
You stupid _________ _________ ____________!

I open the glove box
Reach inside
I'm gonna wreck this ________'s ride

I finally finished V by Thomas Pynchon.

2009-09-29T10:14:00.002-05:00

I was a fan of the book during the parts I understood. But when the story trips from 1950's bohemian artist culture to pre-WWII Maltese revolutionary history, I admit, I get a little lost.

Highlight of the last chapter:

In her face is always a slight bow to the nose, a wide spacing of the eyes, which are small. No one you'd turn to watch on the street. But she was a teacher of love after all. Only pupils of love need to be beautiful.

Oh, and there's a great illustration of Kilroy, made entirely of an electronics schematic:

Whine whine whine, I hate it when people whine

2009-09-22T21:49:00.004-05:00

but I'm going to right now.

I left home for school this morning at 11AM. It is now 9:49PM. I'm waiting to start a studio session at 12AM. It will go until 4AM. I have class at 11AM. After class I will leave school at approximately 4PM and arrive back home at approximately 5PM.

Honestly I wouldn't rather be doing anything with my time, I just wish it was all during daylight hours and within a few minutes of home.

And then I chant in my head the following: wouldn't rather be doing anything... would not rather be doing anything... would not not rather be doing nothing... would rather be doing nothing... shoot, what's the negation of anything? if it's not anything it's.... yeah, nothing... but I wouldn't rather be doing nothing

Etcetera ad absurdum.

Anyway, enjoy your sleep and your sleep schedule for me.

Nothing like getting halfway through a lead sheet in Sibelius to find out that Mac OSX 10.5 introduced a glitch that won't let you save anything.

2009-09-18T12:14:00.002-05:00

And the only fix requires me to quit without saving. Oh, and there's this:

...you are recommended to upgrade to Sibelius 5, which does support Mac OS X 10.5.

Thanks.

Nothing like a mug of ink in the morning.

2009-09-16T07:11:00.003-05:00

My recent experiments with coffee have been hit or miss. This morning was a miss.

Amiss... a miss... a Miss? No, none of that.

On tattoos.

2009-09-15T09:11:00.003-05:00

When I see people with large portions of their body covered in tattoos, I wonder what previous life they might have lived, or what life they will eventually live, or if they will never change.

What previous life would have put them in a position to think that permanent full limb or body ink would age gracefully? A life where aging gracefully is not a consideration? Guilty.

Or maybe they will eventually move on but not really move on because you never really move on from tattoos. Or maybe they will never move on, which might be the most tragic thing of all.

This started as a random thought and grew into a bad sermon. Sorry.

Quick, without looking,

2009-09-14T08:24:00.001-05:00

what does "beside myself" mean to you?

If you looked it up, don't answer.

Is Apple promoting the use of the plural third-person pronoun "they" as a gender neutral singular pronoun?

2009-09-09T21:11:00.005-05:00

I've never been a fan of gender neutral language, not because I hate women, but because it's often clumsy and creates unnecessary kinks in my thought patterns and sentences. But this, I like. I've long been a fan of using the neutral "they" in place of he or she or he/she or s/he. If Apple can do it, I can too right?

There is no way I'm going to finish The Matrix: Revolutions.

2009-09-08T21:08:00.003-05:00

Did they write a script for this? Ugh. Painful. There should be a condensed version so I don't have to wade through the dialogue to get to the fight scenes.

Dear Analog-to-Digital Converstion:

2009-09-07T11:27:00.001-05:00

What are you???

Quidditch is stupid.

2009-09-02T22:06:00.005-05:00

Maybe there is some culture difference between Muggle sports and Wizard sports, but a game where an awful lot of effort is deemed meaningless by the final act of the match? It's like playing a whole game of football, then having one final Hail Mary pass that anybody can catch to win, regardless of the events of the entire previous hour of play.

Let's do the math: If a quidditch team is winning by 140 points, they can still lose by 10 if the snitch is caught by the opposing team. If a quidditch team is winning by 160 points, they can win without catching the snitch, but the opposing team only has to score 20 points and catch the snitch to negate the entire 160 points scored by the other team. 160 points is 16 unmatched goals. That's a whole lot of effort.

Hermione is still 12.

EDIT: Post spellchecked. Sorry, I've failed humanity.

Uh oh.

2009-09-02T21:30:00.005-05:00

Why is Hermione so... 12 years old? Um...

EDIT: Yeah, this one is spellchecked too. OH GEE, IS SPELLCHECK ONE OR TWO WORDS? I DUNNO, I BET SOMEONE WILL TELL ME.

A girl who looks like Luna Lovegood just walked by.

2009-09-02T09:56:00.005-05:00

I'm in the MTSU library, studying my head off.

I feel old. Hip, but old. It's a little refreshing, since my Nashville friends are generally homeowners or otherwise productive, contributing members of society. None of that here.

EDIT: Dear Greta, I love you. No, seriously, blog joking aside, I sorta do.

Why did I never notice that sarcasm is kind of like a reductio ad absurdum argument?

2009-09-01T06:47:00.006-05:00

RA's are my favorite kind of argument.

Sarcasm is not my favorite kind of humor, but I do like to point out absurdities, and sarcasm often does.

EDIT: Intoxicated enough to partially confess my undying and previously unadmittable love of Greta Weisman.

I'm going to school today.

2009-08-31T07:23:00.000-05:00

First day picture to come.

It must suck to be a citizen of Nigeria trying to shop honestly on eBay.

2009-08-27T19:07:00.003-05:00

Is that where all the scammers on earth live?

In other news, my 8gig iPod Touch is still for sale, even after 7 days of waiting for the auction to go off. Let me know if you're in the market. The last thing I need is the internet in my pocket.

Raise your hand if you have contradictory beliefs and values.

2009-08-23T21:32:00.006-05:00

Today in Church I listen to a sermon about money and the love of it. I heard the sermon after and during an attempt to write an outline for an essay on money in Atlas Shrugged.

Inconsistency makes me crazy, but only most of the time. I can relate to the narrator with autism from The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime, who complains about peoples' illogical behavior, but has a pathological hatred of the color yellow, and decides if his day is going to be good or bad depending on the color of cars he sees.

Dear Computers: please stop doing weird things that I can't undo.

2009-08-20T21:07:00.002-05:00

Why is my word processor double spacing? I've clicked the "single space" option at least 12 times, and it has not as of yet formatted my document to single spacing. I just want single spacing. That's all. In the world. So much joy and contentment has been ruined.

I'm back.

2009-08-19T06:37:00.000-05:00

Ta-daaaaaaaaaaa!

I'm going for a swim.

I tend to split my life into two categories:

2009-08-15T18:31:00.002-05:00

1. Theoretical
2. Reality

Theoretically I can do everything. I can watch a 42 minute episode of Veronica Mars in the 35 minutes before I have to go to work, and immediately afterwards I can brush my teeth get dressed make lunch get stuff together run out door start car be on highway - instantly.

Realistically, it never works out that way. Lucky for me, I've learned to compensate by overestimating my travel time.

Realistically, lately, it seems to me that continuing my education in the field of Recording and Technology is a bad idea. I'm starting to get cold feet. Not that it matters.

Cue: encouragement.

"My beating Heart Bounds with exulting motion."

2009-08-12T08:33:00.001-05:00

Look what I found.

It's in PA too.

Just say no, Paul.

Whose car got 37.7 miles per gallon?

2009-08-05T22:05:00.002-05:00

Mine. 94 Honda Civic. 1.6L engine attached to a 5 speed standard.

Efficient AND superior.

Note to self:

2009-08-03T21:55:00.002-05:00

Medium bristled toothbrushes are too firm for me.

Someone please remind me in 3 months.

A city with a great library is a great city, but Nashville's library sucks now.

2009-07-29T19:41:00.003-05:00

When did they change the hours to:

Tues-Fri 9-6; Sat 9-5; Sun 2-5

?
??
????????????????????????????????????????????

THOSE ARE THE HOURS DURING THE WEEK THAT PEOPLE WORK.

Pissed.

Projected plans for this rainy day off:

2009-07-28T11:27:00.001-05:00

Clean everything I own.

Actual plan:
Veronica Mars Season 3.

A book I couldn't listen to on tape.

2009-07-27T19:17:00.002-05:00

Frank McCourt, author of Angela's Ashes, died last Sunday. I don't normally take celebrity deaths very hard, since I don't feel like I know them personally and the impact they have on my life will continue through whatever music they wrote or movies they starred in.

With Mr. McCourt, it's different. I listened to Teacher Man on the 13 hour trip to Nashville last September, and found to my surprise that the author himself narrates the book for the audio version. He sounds very jolly, as most Irishmen do to my American ears. He gave his account of teaching English in a New York City public school. Teacher Man is a remarkable book, and hearing it read by the author made it come to life, and might be one of my favorite books. I also felt like I got to know him very well, since he told me his life story through my car stereo for about 13 hours.

I thought I'd give Angela's Ashes a try when I drove home over Thanksgiving. It was one of the saddest things I have ever heard. I still almost cry thinking about a certain part, and I've probably cried less than 10 times in my adult life. It was also narrated by Frank McCourt, who to my ears still sounded like a jolly Irishman. There was an awful juxtaposition between the subject and the narration, like I was watching Saving Private Ryan set to Sousa marches. I had to turn it off.

Upon hearing of his death I decided to buy Angela's Ashes, but couldn't find it anywhere in town (I wasn't the only one to think of that). Today my mom called me to tell me that she had ordered me Angela's Ashes. It's like she read my mind. Weird.

Here's to doing things that we're not really very good at.

2009-07-25T09:36:00.003-05:00

So the real reason I'm doing this crazy race tomorrow (and it's getting crazier sounding to me with every passing minute) is to further prove to myself that I'm not the wimpy 14 year old freshman who got cut from the volleyball team after being told, "We're building a team, freshmen won't get cut."

In the things I'm good at (like solfege and... yeah) I usually size people up and find my confidence in my superiority. Not so with athletics - I consider myself the benchmark for average among other twenty-something males. (Hereafter on this blog referred to as TSMs.)

Some things have been ingrained in my head for years, like the notion that I'm bad at math and sports. Lately I've been starting to believe that I'm clumsy around other people and not very good at reading others' feelings. Now I'm deciding that it's all BS - that being bad at something is a chance to start at the bottom and learn and understand all the lessons from the beginning. Mozart probably never had anything useful to teach beginners, because he never was one. Maybe being good at things from the beginning is a hindrance in some ways, like in the case of teaching.

Anyway: here's to being mediocre at things we should be terrible at.

To prove that I am a bad-ass...

2009-07-24T08:02:00.002-05:00

... is one of the main reasons I decided to do the Triathlon on Sunday. Whether or not I will succeed remains to be seen. If the swim wasn't in a swiftly moving body of water, I would feel much more confident.

Actually the main reason I want to do this race is because the bike portion is on a limited access highway. Every cyclist dreams of riding on a limited access highway. I am so excited. I just hope I make it that far.

On fashion, etc.

2009-07-21T20:02:00.002-05:00

Over landscaping, I had a discussion with my coworker Byron about hipster fashion and how appearance really is important. It's something I don't want to admit, since I think all facets of the fashion industry should be liquidated, and the money and resources should be used to end poverty (thus solving two problems).

We were wearing clothes covered in dirt. What I really want is to come up with a fashion statement that says "I hate fashion, especially yours, hipster, go buy a scooter" and I couldn't think of anything. We considered the profit we could have made if we had predicted fedoras, vests, and girlie jeans a few years back. Truth is, I can't afford clothes right now anyway.

Then we talked about our feelings and our clothes while we bludgeoned a stump out of the ground with a dull axe. Then I went home and lusted over fixies and played with my fixie wheelset that doesn't have a frame. Bah.

Is it normal for your car to go to the shop 6 times between January and July?

2009-07-06T07:10:00.002-05:00

Please tell me no. In 2009 my car has been on the road for less time than it's been in the shop. Amazing.

Time to unload. Anyone interested in a @#$%##$$%!@#!!@#$$#!%!^$#!$ VW Passat?

Every now and then I get hurt while I'm sleeping.

2009-07-05T07:51:00.002-05:00

This morning when I woke up, my right middle finger hurt so bad I could barely bend it. I'm even having a rough time typing right now. It feels like it got bent backwards in my sleep.

Maybe I had a dream where one side of me was giving the other side of me the finger, and then the other side of me retaliated by bending that finger backwards. Or maybe I slept on it funny. No one will ever know.

In the event that I'm happy and sociable, you shouldn't assume that I've been drinking alcohol.

2009-07-04T14:43:00.002-05:00

I've been getting this a lot lately. I'm happy, I'm talkative, I'm outgoing, then someone asks me if I'm ok to drive. Not funny.

A new website...

2009-06-29T17:01:00.002-05:00

is in the works, down the hall. I have a pro working on it.

"...your application for admission to the MFA in Recording Arts and Technologies has been approved. Congratulations."

2009-06-22T19:31:00.002-05:00

It's true. I don't feel like I'm in the backseat of my own life anymore.

I'll be studying for an MFA in recording at MTSU this fall. School starts 29 August. I did it.

Sadly, my motivation...

2009-06-15T22:31:00.002-05:00

...has come from current guilt and/or shame, since lately I've been looking back and thinking of the time I've wasted, and wishing I could be the person I would be had I worked harder. So now I'm working hard and hoping that some day I won't feel like this. Is this bad?

I'm not gonna lie.

2009-06-13T00:17:00.001-05:00

I just seriously considered buying a unicycle.

Oh please oh please somebody help me.

2009-06-08T22:56:00.005-05:00

One week ago I left Nashville for PA. Today I returned. I can't find my keys. Here are the facts:

1. The small leatherman that I keep on my key ring is in a drawer in my desk, I took it off the key ring and put it there so I could get through security.

2. My car keys are in the other drawer. I have no recollection whatsoever as to why I took them off or when I put them in the drawer.

3. I vaguely remember thinking I would drive to the airport using the key to my friend's car, but I didn't.

That's it. I have no idea if I actually took them on the plane or not.

I am currently missing my library card, YMCA card, house key, bike lock key. I'm probably going to stress about it all day tomorrow and get less done than I need to. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Update: Found them. Left them in friend's car. He told me. I forgot. Still feel stupid.

There is no way I would put something called a Steak Slider in my mouth.

2009-06-04T13:04:00.004-05:00

Don't get me wrong, I am a red-blooded testosterone pumping omnivore erring on the side of carnivore. I eat lots of things that some would consider "gross", including sauerkraut, and I'm usually the one to take expiration dates on dairy products as suggestions.

I'm imagining little pieces of steak rubbed with lard and placed in my esophagus like an inner tube at the top of a water slide.

Happiness is...

2009-06-03T19:43:00.002-05:00

finding a cold beverage next to me after having forgotten about it a few minutes ago, finding it to be mostly full, and finding it to be Troegs Rugged Trail nut brown ale.

What's the deal with Chuck, anyway?

2009-05-29T14:37:00.008-05:00

I'm trying to figure out the target demographic. It seems obvious enough. In the show, a geeky underachieving 20 something guy accidentally turns into a national security priority overnight and becomes the asset of a smoking hot female CIA agent who conveniently kicks ass and shoots guns and wears skimpy clothing.

Am I over thinking this? Yeah, I probably am. It appeals to geeky underachieving 20 something guys.

...

UPDATE:

Ok, I'm most of the way through my 1Xth episode of Chuck in threeish days and I just figured out what was causing the over thinking.

Amidst the ass kicking and smoking hotness, there is an awful lot of relationshipy feelingy tension stuff that is normally reserved for soap operas like Lost. So why is it that a show with such a target demographic in mind also includes so much soap?

Here's why all TV shows should be streaming.

2009-05-28T21:24:00.005-05:00

There is a 0% chance that I will purchase any shows on DVD, possible exceptions including Arrested Development and House. That's it. Everything else is either available online for free, or not good enough.

There is a 100% chance I will accidentally see the one advertisement that is played approximately 600 times during the same episode at least one time. While there is still a 0% chance I will buy anything I see in the commercial since online commercials usually include cameras I already own or Lexus SUVs, there is a chance that someone somewhere will.

Think about it, evil capitalist pig CEOs of evil capitalist TV stations (soon to be owned by the Federal Government), you will make some money off of ad revenues, as opposed to no money off of not selling DVDs. AND I don't have to search around on shady Asian-looking sites to watch Chuck with Asian-looking subtitles.

P.S. Chuck is much funnier than usual after having watched two episodes of Band of Brothers.

P.P.S. Excuse the gaping hole in my logic.

Do chips and salsa count as fruits, vegetables, and grains?

2009-05-26T17:57:00.002-05:00

Check one:

Yes

My nerdy hobby/obsession.

2009-05-21T21:41:00.006-05:00

Today I got this book in the mail:

These puzzles are like crack. Or at least as addictive as I imagine crack would be, if I did crack.

Just what I needed. Another puzzle besides Word Whomp to keep me from doing things like cleaning my room.

The last day of school.

2009-05-21T05:54:00.002-05:00

I can't help but feel excited about today since it is the last day of school. The elementary schooler in me is looking forward to entire months off, sleeping in, swimming at the pool, and reading for hours.

I've had doubts that I'm a real live grown-up, but now I know for sure. School is over, summer is here, and I still have to work.

I hearby wish death to all flies.

2009-05-18T20:56:00.002-05:00

All of them should die, or be silent.

In other news, I don't have to work on Friday, AND I won't have a job after that! School's out for summer.

Anybody hiring???

Why the LOST season finale was kind of stupid.

2009-05-15T15:49:00.012-05:00

The following contains LOST spoilers. You have been warned.

I'm a big fan of LOST, and I was a huge fan of the season finale on Wednesday. Nuclear bombs, crazy new characters taking on the form of other characters, finally entering the statue, and a submarine mutiny led by my favorite Juliet in the world.

But Juliet? Seriously? I took you for a levelheaded scientist type, and you totally ruined my whole ideal woman image of you when you went all schizo on Sawyer. Let's recap her change of heart towards the middle of the second hour. Sawyer and Jack finally kick the feces out of each other, Juliet comes in to ref and explain why she's siding with Jack, and we wind up here:

Sawyer: "I got a right to know why you changed your mind."
Juliet: "I changed my mind when I saw you look at her."

HUH??? I'd assumed Latin speaking, rifle shooting, in a tent emergency appendectomy performing OB/GYN Juliet might have some objective insider clue as to what is going on in Lost, maybe because of her brief stint as an Other, maybe because I always raised her up as the Perfect Fictional Woman in my heart. But when she gave that explanation, here's what I really heard:

Juliet: "Before, when I was supposedly concerned about Jack following the posthumous instructions of Daniel Faraday (who may or may not have been right), an effort that is leading to the detonation of a hydrogen bomb which may or may not lead to either massive carnage and death, the destruction of the island or world or worse, an unending loop in space time, or any or all of the above; that was before, James. Before, when I loved you and had your back. Before I saw you look at Kate and before I got jealous and insecure. BUT NOW! Now I'm jealous and insecure, and I'm all about helping Jack follow out the last wish of Daniel Faraday, including the hydrogen bomb and the risk of physical, theoretical physical, and metaphysical bedlam, all because there is a chance that we might never have met if the plan works. So, mister, we both know who wears the pants in this relationship. You march straight back there and help Jack do... whatever. BTW, you're sleeping on the couch tonight, end of the world or not."

Then, at the very very end, Juliet blows up the bomb (we think), maybe or maybe not killing herself and blowing up the island and its inhabitants and maybe the world or all of existence, and we presume it's because she's heartbroken and wants never to have met Sawyer. (And also living up to her namesake.)

Lame. I expect bulletproof plots from the writers of Lost, and unless I missed some huge motive somewhere in a flash back (the divorce scene isn't good enough, not when hydrogen bombs and the end of existence are involved), I'm going to have to be a little whiny and disappointed. There. Done. Someone call the whaaambulence.

Which is it, people.

2009-05-10T20:10:00.005-05:00

Craps shoot,

Crap shoot, OR

Crap chute.

*Edit*
Annie has informed me that it is spelled crapshoot, and my computer dictionary confirms (not that I didn't trust Annie, I always trust Annie). Still, my question stands. When you say "crapshoot," which of the above are you referring to? This is a highly existential question, not to be taken lightly.

Just answer the frigging question.

2009-05-07T22:15:00.005-05:00

The simple act of "answering the question" is the hardest part of most GRE quantitative problems. They are intentionally worded to get you off track and thinking about the actual real uses for the math, not the nit-picky detail uses that are called for. Sometimes I feel like a good approach is to go with my first instinct, then pick anything else.

The song in my head.

2009-05-05T06:37:00.001-05:00

If I wasn't a flaming libertarian before, I am now.

2009-05-03T10:58:00.004-05:00

Kroger wouldn't sell me beer at 10:30am. Because it's Sunday. And it's the state's responsibility to keep people from getting drunk before 11am on Sundays.

Truth is, my whole plan was spoiled. I was going to get up early, run, shower, buy a 6-pack at 10:30 and bong it before 11 so I can study polynomials for my test next week. Beer at 11 just won't do!

Suddenly I'm taking the GRE on 9 May 2009...

2009-05-02T08:19:00.005-05:00

and as for studying, nailing the vocab portion is taking a backseat to just passing the vocab portion.

Crap. I'll be even more of a hermit than usual this week. I usually hang out on the third floor of the downtown library, if anybody wants to stop by.

I'm more of a hippy than I'm willing to admit.

2009-04-28T18:18:00.006-05:00

I realized this today when I spent part of the afternoon running in Shelby Bottoms in my bare feet. I would go everywhere in bare feet if it weren't for glass, sanitation statutes, and social stigmas. I would also ditch my car and ride my bike everywhere if I weren't afraid it would get stolen.

I don't really take Asprin or Tylenol because I sorta don't believe in it. I would ditch my medications if I knew of some surefire way to avoid the disastrous flareup that would follow. I spent my Sunday afternoon making felafel, and almost went to the middle-eastern food store at the farmers market to find the sauce that goes with it (I settled on sauerkraut instead).

Still, I cling to the fact that I read Atlas Shrugged, loved it, and am willing to admit it in public.

David Foster Wallace, etc.

2009-04-27T05:45:00.001-05:00

I haven't loved an author this much since I discovered Chesterton. I described him to Cara (my lovely teacher/boss/master) as being cynical, logical, and honest. And pretty brilliant, from what I can tell.

His book Brief Interviews With Hideous Men is being turned into a movie by Jim Halpert aka. John Krasinksi. Brief Interviews was my first exposure to DFW, and I'm starting to think that it's a very important book for its exploration of the... um... post-feminist male worldview??? Or something. Something like where women have been liberated and men have been let off the hook from their traditional role as initiators and providors. The hideous men interviewed are the same men that women curse for being flakey, perverted, and noncommittal, but the interviews only let the men speak their minds. Some are hilarious, some are terrifying, some are heartbreaking.

If you aren't easily offended, I'd recommend anyone, male or female, read the book. I'm currently reading The Broom Of The System.

P.S. Sorry to Dragoo for having to deal with my fixations on my blog AND at work. I'll move on sooner or later.

Half Marathon Time

2009-04-24T06:25:00.003-05:00

The half is on April 25th, that's at the end of April, still a few weeks away, right?

I'm not nervous, but I am drinking water like a horse, and I've never peed so much in my life. I do pretty well with nerves before big events, probably because I'm good at being oblivious. I'm still not even convinced that I have to run 13.1 miles tomorrow morning at 7am with 34,999 other people in front of the whole city, even though I picked up my shirt and bib, and have small packets of "goo" that are basically petroleum jelly with tons of sugar, and have been going to bed early and waking up early all week.

I'm in corral 2, hoping to finish betwen 1:45 and 1:50. Come cheer!

Computers are supposed to make us more productive...

2009-04-22T06:39:00.002-05:00

but since I got mine back, my productivity has been steadily declining. I need a network administrator to turn it off at bed time (and wake up time) so I will stop reading Instapundit and Mercenary Audio product descriptions. (OOOH that reminds me to look for bikes on craigslist.)

Having a computer makes me late in the morning, and I know why. The problem with late arriving people is that they think they can do anything in the five minutes before departure. If it's 6:55, and my carpool is arriving at 7:00, I can brush teeth, put shoes on, rearrange leftovers and condiments into "lunch", finish breakfast, read blogs, read the paper, all with time to spare for sitting on the porch reading a book. Five minutes is an eternity.

After having lived here since October 1, 2008...

2009-04-21T06:11:00.003-05:00

I finally took the fitted sheet out of my window and put up a blind. A real one, made of woody bamboo looking material, with a cord. What can I say? My priorities have been elsewhere since I moved. Now finally, just months before having my house sold out from under me, I feel moved in.

Some words that have humbled me.

2009-04-20T06:58:00.002-05:00

On Thursday, the Special Olympics came to my school. We recited the Special Olympics oath:

"Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt."

If I have learned anything from special education, it is that I have no excuses. Reciting that oath was another painful reminder of that lesson.

This oatmeal is borderline terrible.

2009-04-17T06:15:00.002-05:00

The only reason I haven't thrown it away is because it's warm and sitting on my lap. The raisins in it are ok too. Someday I will drive to Kroger in a car that I'm not afraid will get broken into (or, just entered by way of the door) and buy food that isn't also glue.

Update.

2009-04-15T21:31:00.003-05:00

1. I got my computer back. At this rate, Apple would be wise to give me a new computer, since I've almost cost them the same amount in repairs.

2. I found my camera. Now I can take a picture of my old camera with my new camera. Sweet.

3. My car's rear window won't go up, so tomorrow when I have a free moment I will be dismantling the door. Pictures to follow, unless I break something and get really really mad.

4. I am desperately wanting to buy another bicycle. Please try to convince me that this is a good idea. Thanks.

Semantics, praxeology, and dating.

2009-04-07T17:00:00.004-05:00

A long long time ago I promised to write about dating and why guys supposedly aren't asking girls out. I think I had a few good thoughts on the issue, but in the end I decided it was a rather large topic to tackle, and that I should hold off writing for about 60 years until I achieve full understanding. In the meantime, here are a few ideas to add to the growing body of blog-works on the issue.

1. If you are female, and you are asking the question "Why aren't guys asking me out?", what question are you really asking?

"PZC, how could you possibly know the depths of my loneliness? I am entitled to ask such a question, especially when there are no guys around with the cojones to even ask me out on a date."

Accepted. But "Why aren't guys asking me out?" is NOT the same question as:
- Why aren't hot guys asking me out?
- Why aren't intelligent guys asking me out?
- Why aren't rich guys asking me out?
- Why aren't hot intelligent rich guys asking me out?
- Why hasn't the man of my dreams already swept me off my feet and made me a home and given me babies?

I don't need you to be honest with me. I don't want to know what question you're asking. Maybe you are honestly asking why guys aren't asking you out. But I get confused when my dear wonderful lady friends ask me why guys aren't asking girls out, and then I ask them if they are getting asked out, and they say "Yeah but he was a weirdo."

Fess up, gallies: are guys asking you out? Do you continue to ask this question?

2. Why aren't guys asking girls out on dates? That's easy. Ultimately, because they don't want to.

Of course there's more to it than that. It's because the perceived benefits of asking a girl out on a date are outweighed by the perceived cost and risk. This is no different than any other decision.

Let's say I want to buy a car. I have a choice: buy a car, or don't buy a car. If I buy the car, then I have a sweet new car, but I have a monthly payment. If I don't buy the car, I'm stuck bumming rides until mine gets fixed, but I don't have to pay. Cash is tight. I don't buy the car.

In this case, the benefit of having a car does not outweigh the cost of paying for the car. I don't buy the car. Simple.

Hypothetically, let's say I am interested in girl X. X for... Xena. Yeah, sure, that Xena. I have a choice: ask her out on a date, maybe have fun and get to know someone cool, maybe spark a healthy relationship that grows into something more. But maybe it will be a disaster, we won't have fun, it will be awkward, it will wreck our friendship, it will mess up our group of friends. And in my case, I might get my arse handed to me in a sword fight and find out she's a lesbian.

OR.

I don't ask her out on a date.

Herein lies the problem. Doing nothing is seen as less risky than doing something.

The solution? Highlight benefits, and decrease cost and risk. Am I advocating moral hazard in dating? Yes, I think I am. How does one go about doing this? I dunno. I'll think about it...

Your thoughts, in the meantime?

What book should I read next?

2009-03-31T21:01:00.002-05:00

Must be: fiction, entertaining, and lighter than The Poisonwood Bible. Preferrably: containing spies and guns and violence.

Go!

This might be the best commencement speech I've ever read.

2009-03-26T06:28:00.005-05:00

I happen to be a connoisseur of commencement speeches. Having played in commencement bands AND commencement brass ensembles throughout college, I've been to more graduations than everyone except professors and my fellow musicians. And maybe those parents who have 12 kids.

I'm continuing my current obsession with David Foster Wallace. Give this a read.

2009-03-24T23:17:00.001-05:00

WHY
AM
I
A
WAKE

Why didn't God give us on/off switches?

2009-03-22T23:14:00.002-05:00

Timed on/off switches. I want to program myself to go to sleep when I need to, like about 2 hours ago, so I can avoid the inevitable rush of energy and productivity that happens the night before I have to go back to work after a week long break. Why is it that suddenly at 10pm I have the energy to fill out job applications and read books when all day I couldn't keep my eyes open?

I lost my camera.

2009-03-17T11:49:00.002-05:00

When I lose or forget things, an incredible string of profane words builds up inside my brain. I feel like I have failed the whole world, that my mind is flawed and beyond repair, and that I should sell all my possessions and live in a hole in the ground.

I'm going to have to pay for someone else's stupid mistake.

2009-03-16T10:37:00.003-05:00

I forgot to close my tab last night. I just forgot. Note to self: don't leave credit cards anywhere ever. This was my mistake.

But I'm sure I'll have to pay an exorbitant gratuity fee because drunk people stumble out into the street and forget to close their enormous tabs. Not my fault they were drunk.

If you know my name, there is a decent chance I don't know yours.

2009-03-11T20:42:00.003-05:00

It's embarrassing but true. Tonight during a conversation that included many references to people outside of my every day contacts, I felt lost. There were so many people that I didn' t know... until I thought about it and realized that I did know them. How on earth do people "network?" I don't get it.

Today I mixed cheddar cheese with my eggs...

2009-03-06T05:59:00.005-06:00

and they are so much better than before when I only put crappy salsa on them. What have I been missing all this time? And even better, I got the Less Than Jake song "Richard Allen George... No, It's Just Cheese" stuck in my head:

Chesterfield....
where the keg's never dry.
It's always filled.
Have another beer with fear.
Have another beer or two.
He'll show you his
cheese tattoo.
Always drunk and going crazy,
You'd better believe it.

Has anyone noticed that ska is back on the radio? Only now they call it "Vampire Weekend." Neat.

Who invented sleep?

2009-03-05T06:29:00.003-06:00

Sleep is such a waste of time, especially when you try to do it but you don't. Thankfully, the good Lord has brought us Wikipedia.

Oh, and this, courtesy of Dad.

Most days I sorta want to go to work, but today I don't.

2009-03-04T05:50:00.002-06:00

I wish I could pre-label people who will misunderstand and judge me, so I could avoid them and save them the trouble. Then melancholy scatterbrained analytical types like myself would all band together and withhold our particular brand of thought from the general public and watch. Just to see what would happen.

What am I doing with my life...

2009-03-03T05:53:00.002-06:00

and why am I so concerned? Because I want to have a goal to work towards, and I don't know what that is right now. I call everything I do into question.

Someone needs to explain to me how motivation works.

2009-03-02T18:16:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I am motivated to do minor but healthy things, like clean my room when it's only a little bit messy, or review vocab instead of reading blogs. Some days, it's so easy to make the right decisions. Some days I can't wrap my head around the consequences of those decisions.

It's never the big things that are hard, it's always the hundreds of small things that I forget or neglect to do, and later on wish I had done. Things like practicing the guitar, reading the Bible, tidying up, etc.

Rrrgh. I'm trying. I just can't... pry myself... away... from... blog...

Today I am going to Pennsylvania from Tennessee.

2009-02-26T06:31:00.002-06:00

My two favorite states that have "enn" as the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th letters of their names.

On giving up logic for lent:

2009-02-24T06:36:00.002-06:00

How would one go about giving up logic for 40 week days? I thought giving up Facebook would be rough.

How would I think? What questions would I ask? "How are you feeling?" I usually ask that question as a bridge to "Why are you feeling that way?" Should I take the MBTI test again and purposefully answer everything the opposite, then model myself after whatever opposite personality comes up? ESFJ? What IS that????

This is seriously scary. I'm ok with talking about my feelings, I'm just not ok with using them as my advisers. Feelings are like politicians: shifty and hard to pin down, and always looking out for their own agenda. Reason is impartial and cold, and I like it.

I think I'm far too reasonable.

2009-02-23T05:37:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I had a conversation on the phone with a friend who was considering getting back together with a guy who had broken her heart a few months ago. It was a little shocking at first, and my natural reaction was to just think about it.

I do this with everything. I've never had particularly quick wits. I do my best thinking over the course of time, and usually while I'm doing something else. In this case, I was at Costco.

"You don't let your emotions get involved at all! It's all cerebral." She said. I agreed, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm wondering what I'm missing. I'm not emotionally bankrupt, but I do prefer to think things through than to feel things through. My feelings are there, but they're clumsy and unclear.

Maybe I should give up logic and reason for lent. What would that look like?

Morning people are superior to everyone else.

2009-02-19T06:19:00.003-06:00

By the time most people wake up in the morning, I've already done more than some of them will do in their entire lives.

Just kidding. I don't really feel superior. I just function a little more freely. I like that sleepy feeling, and I like writing or reading after just waking up. I'm less inclined to find creative ruts, and my imagination is more vivid.

And my wonderful co-workers love to see me stumble around school, forgetting what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Hi Cara. I'll try to focus today.

Pre-write: why I'm not asking girls out.

2009-02-18T05:44:00.002-06:00

No, this is not the promised post that will serve as a response and an addendum to Andy Merrick's brilliant series, Why Guys Aren't Asking You Out. I'm just thinking out loud.

Ready, go.

Is this a crisis that I'm not aware of? This series wouldn't resonate so widely if it weren't frequently pondered. Or maundered. Are all the single lades out there wondering why guys aren't asking them out?

Assuming it is a "crisis" of some sort, like if the "dating economy" were bad, is it new to this generation of twenty-somethings? Or is it "new" to every generation of twenty-somethings that passes through to adulthood? Are we the first generation to pass through to adulthood in our twenties? If this is the case, could the lack of initiative be due in part to guys lacking a role model from previous generations?

That last question seems unlikely, and is probably not relevant.

I am, however, always skeptical of arguments that start with "our generation is the first to..." We are the first to do lots of things, yes, but what has fundamentally changed? In assuming our generation is different than any previous generation, we might dismiss advice not tailored specifically for us.

And with that, I ask: what are we really the first to do? What's different? This could be a good starting point.

I might get kicked out of my house.

2009-02-17T15:50:00.002-06:00

Not because I am dirty or destructive. Other people are, though.

Maybe looking for a four bedroom house in or around East Nashville. Tell your friends. Tell your friend's friends.

I'm scared to death to let anyone listen to the music I recorded.

2009-02-13T06:40:00.002-06:00

I think I did everything wrong. This is a trait of INTPs.

If you're reading this, please badger me into letting you hear it sometime.

(So, in other words, Annie and Elizabeth, and the few other people reading.)

iTunes is freezing

2009-02-11T16:23:00.002-06:00

JUST WORK PLEASE

Update: iTunes was freezing because of an iPod. GRRRRR.

I guess I should accept that I might never meet a girl who wants to discuss economics with me.

2009-02-09T06:14:00.003-06:00

Sad but true. Maybe I need to relax my standards.

In other news, are there any single ladies out there who are into Austrian school economics?

Survey says: I am an INTP

2009-02-06T06:10:00.001-06:00

This explains so much. A description can be found here.

I'm looking back over my life, counting all the times I've been yelled at for "spacing out" during class. I wasn't bored, I was just learning in my own way and processing information.

That's incorrect. I WAS bored, but I was also learning in my own way and processing information.

All this time I've considered myself flawed for being unfocused and detached, but maybe that's really my strength. My teachers should have realized that, instead of trying to make me into a good little hand raising perfectionist.

Next time you see me zoning, leave me alone. I'm probably finding a cure for cancer.

Plan for the evening:

2009-02-05T18:56:00.001-06:00

1. Buy bag of peanut M&M's.

"How To Win Friends and Influence People" is teaching me an awful lot, and it's a little embarassing.

2009-02-04T13:32:00.005-06:00

Who knew smiling and knowing peoples' names was important to making a good and lasting impression? I like smiling but I usually forget, and learning names is hard work. Still, what a great book.

New life goal: learn to learn names quickly and permanently.

I want to ditch my computer and cell phone and live in a tent in the wilderness.

2009-02-03T06:19:00.003-06:00

I feel too connected. There are people I know entirely through Facebook. It's just too easy for an introvert like me to bolster my social life and social skills (such as knowing first names) by stalking people.

Sometimes I think I need a break. Maybe I will just vanish for a week with no explanation, and when I come back I will have read all the books I want to read and I will have a second album of songs finished. I'll meditate for hours at a time, fraying and reweaving the fabric of life and existence. I will have the world sorted out, and women will swoon over my bravery and staggering intellectual powers.

I feel like I'm not the first person to try this. Something about a Walden...

I'm probably more pessimistic than you.

2009-01-31T02:12:00.003-06:00

In regards to the state of our country:

Let's write all of this down. Our founding fathers read the writings of Cicero and Montesquieu and Locke, took what they knew to be true, and wrote a constitution. It worked for a while.

Maybe in 3000 years, someone will look back on what happened, write a new constitution for a new country, and maybe they will get it right.

I wish I were an asshole.

2009-01-29T05:21:00.004-06:00

Or maybe not. I brought this conversation up in the car among some friends, and an interesting conversation followed.

The point is this: I am nice to a fault. I would bend over backwards to do anything for anyone just because they asked, nicely or otherwise. I get walked on, I get taken advantage of, I get let down. If I were an asshole, I wouldn't be afraid to make people mad. I wouldn't be afraid of offending people in conversations. I would be confident, and I wouldn't think of myself as a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

A friend made the point that it's really the confidence I'm after. I think that's true. Hmmmm...

Snow days are almost a good enough reason to work in education.

2009-01-28T06:15:00.003-06:00

Today Metro decided to cancel school because of weather. I'm looking out my window, and I see water on the grass from rain. Better safe than sorry.

I'm ok with this. It means I get paid for not going to work.

Every now and then I think I'd be OK with being a teacher. Like when I don't have to go to school. I am DEFINITELY in the right field.

Apple's Mighty Mouse sucks.

2009-01-27T06:05:00.004-06:00

I've never been an Apple fanboy. I've never even been charmed by Apple. I dislike companies that build their image on being the best, or better than everyone else. The best sack of bull penises is still just a sack of bull penises. I hate the "I'm a Mac" guy. I hate the music that goes along with the commercials. I theoretically loathe Mac snobs, and if they weren't human, I would literally loathe them.

But what pisses me off most is the crappy little nipple ball mouse that sits last in a long line of miserable Apple mice. And now, the ball won't scroll down. Yes, I know how to clean it. It's not my cleaning abilities that are lacking. It's Apple's mouse sucking. It sucks. Ass.

Phew. Ok, I'll never write about this again (for Seth).

Today while Joe Biden was being sworn in, I was changing a poopy diaper.

2009-01-20T16:16:00.003-06:00

That's right, folks. A poopy diaper.

And not one of these beginner baby diapers. I could manage three baby diapers at a time. I was changing an adult diaper, as big as a newspaper.

It made me smile.

If you are female, you should already be trying to get me to marry you.

2009-01-16T15:22:00.000-06:00

I'm going to make this really simple:

1. I cook.
2. I clean.
3. I love kids.
4. I change diapers.

Did I miss anything?